Stroopwafels & degenerate art 🖼️

Hello my darlings!

How are you?? I hope you’ve been well. I am back home in Los Angeles after my husband Ross and I took a 10-day vacation to Berlin, Hamburg, and Amsterdam, and boy, is our cat happy we’re home! The first night back, Zadie would not stop squawking at us and following us around, begging for pets. This even extended to after we went to bed; she hopped in next to my head and kept rubbing her face on my hands. Once, in the middle of the night, I had the audacity to go to the bathroom, and when I came out, there she was, waiting to yell at me some more. We of course hired a wonderful pet sitting service that visited with her and sent us photos every day that we were gone, but I guess she just really missed her people!

Anyway, Europe was amazing. We had some crispy fall weather (50s-60s F/10-20 C), and it only rained once, although unfortunately that was a very unexpected downpour right as we were leaving a terrible restaurant in Amsterdam (the restaurant was empty and it still took them 20 minutes to bring us our hummus appetizer, and it just went downhill from there), so we got soaked. As an Angeleno, I’m not even sure where our umbrella is, or if we even own one, maybe it’s in our car? I definitely don’t travel with an umbrella in my suitcase. Do normal people?

When we first landed in Berlin, we had just gotten off the plane when Ross realized he’d forgotten his hat, so I waited for him while evvvveryone else on the entire plane got off before he could retrieve it, and then we were the very last people in line at the passport check. I was annoyed at first, but the line actually moved pretty quickly, and we were through in 20-30 minutes. That’s not bad, really–it once took us over an hour to get into Mexico.

Well, if Ross owed me one after that, I cashed it in pretty quickly when we went to the Berlin Zoo to see the tree kangaroos. If you know Ross, you know that he LOVES animals. The man has sent me cute animal videos multiple times a week as long as I’ve known him. This past year or so, he got really into tree kangaroos, but only a few zoos in the U.S. have them (and not the L.A. Zoo), so when I found out that the zoo in Berlin had them, I knew we had to go.

Well, we walked around the entire zoo looking for them and couldn’t find them, even went back to the entrance and asked an employee “wo sind die Baumkängurus?” He sent us to the Outback section, which was in this far corner of the zoo over a bridge where hardly anyone bothers to go, and we saw some regular kangaroos napping, but we didn’t see the tree ones. 

Because, guess what? WE WERE AT THE WRONG ZOO. Turns out, there are TWO zoos in Berlin, and the Berlin Zoo doesn’t have any tree kangaroos, they’re at a completely different zoo across town called Tierpark Berlin!! D’oh! Since I did the planning, this was 100% on me. Ross was very gracious about it (we got to see some very cute pandas pretty close up who were quite active, which partially made up for it), but we never did end up seeing those tree kangaroos. So, next time you plan a trip to the zoo, make sure you’re going to the right one!

The food in Germany and Holland was just okay. My last two vacations, to Japan and Oaxaca, were very big foodie trips, so it’s not really fair to compare. The pastries and bread were wonderful, the wine and beer were very good, the cheese was good. We enjoyed snacking on Haribo gummies, chocolate (I love a Lion bar), and foreign potato chip flavors like paprika (my favorite) and rosemary and sea salt. We ate bitterballen and stroopwafels in Amsterdam and sausages and pretzels in Germany, and drank lots and lots of espresso to deal with our jet lag.

We had two meals that were really outstanding, one at Night Kitchen in Berlin, an Israeli restaurant where you can opt for a set fee for them to just bring you whatever dishes and drinks they want, until you tell them to stop, lol. I think we had something ridiculous like seven courses by the time we were done. My favorite dish was the “surf ‘n turf,” which had octopus, merguez, and black beans. Meaty and savory and earthy and just delicious.

And then, the last night of our trip, in Amsterdam, we had the tasting menu at De Kas, a Michelin-starred farm to table restaurant in an old greenhouse. That was pretty expensive, but they gave us like four little apps even before the “official” first course, so again, we ended up having a pretty ridiculous number of dishes. De Kas is exactly what I picture when I think about your typical haute cuisine, beautifully plated small dishes with lots of emulsions and foams and little edible flower accents. I think my favorite dish was the first course, which was a langostino with, among other accoutrements, these lovely colorless berries that popped in your mouth with bright acidity. Yummmm.

We also had one really weird lunch at a French restaurant in Amsterdam that brought us chicken Caesar salads with anchovies (traditional, though not my favorite), strips of warm bacon (okay…), and poached eggs on top (huh?). The menu did not mention the anchovies or eggs, so that was a surprise. Ross liked his, but I pretty much just pushed mine around on my plate. I found mine to be pretty overdressed as well.

Each city had its own highlights, but overall, I think my favorite that we visited was Amsterdam. It’s such a beautiful city, truly fairytale-like. We stayed right by Vondelpark, which was surprisingly overrun with Pokémon Go players when we first walked through it on a sunny Sunday afternoon. We were able to walk just about everywhere from our Airbnb. We took a tour of the canals in a boat with a Dutchman who was very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about the Netherlands, praising everything from their healthcare system to their public education to their eco-consciousness to even their tap water (he started bragging about how they have clean tap water available to citizens throughout their parks and I wanted to be like, okay, I’m with you on most of this, but you know we have water fountains in the US too, right?). By the end of the boat ride I was about ready to move to the Netherlands! (Haha, jk. Unless…?)

One very meaningful thing we did in Amsterdam was visit the Anne Frank House. It’s kind of tricky to get tickets–they’re only released about four to six weeks in advance, and they go pretty quickly, so for a while leading up to the trip I had a reminder on my calendar every Tuesday to check for them. I’m so glad we got them. Actually seeing the cramped rooms behind the bookshelf where she and her family and their friends hid for two years (!!) made it very real. And even so, being unable to leave that small space for two years, to not even be able to look out the window, is still unimaginable.

I didn’t tear up until the very end of the museum, just before the gift shop. They have a wall filled with all these different editions of Anne’s published diary, translated into all different languages. The fact that so many people all around the world have read the words of this little girl who dreamed of being a writer but unjustly never got to live that dream was very moving to me. I felt hopeful that so many people know her story and have taken it to heart.

Two typical tourist things we did NOT do in Amsterdam: 1) go to a “coffee shop” (cannabis cafe) 2) go to the red light district. For the first one, well, we live in California, which has incredible, legal marijuana products available everywhere, so the novelty wasn’t there. Plus, I don’t really partake much these days anyway, I get too anxious. And for the second, we somehow just never ended up walking through that area. We did walk through the red light district in Hamburg (the Reeperbahn), although it was during the day, so it was pretty quiet. I think I prefer the quiet, though. Nothing against sex work, but even the bars there were not our scene. Had a Times Square-y, “amateur hour” feel.

Another huge highlight of this trip, for me, was the art. We saw sooo much great art! Like:

- The East Side Gallery in Berlin. We stayed at a hotel right near the East Side Gallery, the longest existing portion of the Berlin Wall, which has been repurposed into an outdoor gallery of sorts with dozens of murals, including the very famous kiss between Brezhnev and Honecker. Honestlyyy, the location wasn’t the best for walkability (we were constantly walking 20 minutes to cross the river to get to restaurants), but it was right along the park by the Spree, so we got to see lots of locals walking their cute hunde. And the murals were cool.

- The bust of Nefertiti at the Neues Museum in Berlin. You’ve probably seen a picture of this bust in a history book before, but if you didn’t know how famous this piece was, you could certainly tell by the way it was positioned in the museum, in a room of its own with two guards and no photography allowed. It was very beautiful! We saw a TON of antiquities on this trip–which honestly, are not my biggest interest. I don’t dislike them, but I’m more of a modern and contemporary art bish. Also, every time I see some Egyptian piece that was taken from a tomb, I get a little squicked out. A) I don’t think we should be robbing graves for art and B) That’s how you get cursed!!

- Lovis Corinth, the Nationalgalerie and the “Degenerate Art” Campaign at the Alte Nationalgalerie in Berlin. Funny story, there are two museums on Museum Island in Berlin with very similar names, the Altes Museum and the Alte Nationalgalerie. The Altes Museum is full of antiquities, while the Alte Nationalgalerie has 19th and 20th century European sculptures and paintings. We wanted to go to the latter, but first went to the former by mistake and ended up walking around all these ancient Greek and Roman statues going, “Where are all the paintings?” Another Berlin mixup!

Anyway, we eventually made it to the Alte Nationalgalerie, and one exhibit that made an impression on me was centered on the artist Lovis Corinth, and more broadly, the campaign by the Nazis to suppress and destroy “degenerate art.” Of course, many works of art were seized by the Nazis during their time in power in Germany, including over 5,000 paintings that they burned, the bastards. These were modern art pieces that were characterized as “degenerate” for being not pro-German enough, too Jewish, too Communist, too modern, too interesting (okay, that last one is just my opinion, but seriously. They hated experimentation). I don’t know why these c*nts are always so threatened by creativity. Art is one of the best things human beings do. I guess those who can’t do, suppress. Anyway, censorship is evil, modern art rules, and trust, the Jimmy Kimmel situation was on my mind last week, from afar.

One last thing about viewing art in Germany: we did see one place, on a wall in the Alte Nationalgalerie, where they acknowledged that at least some of the art on display may have, shall we say, questionable origins, and they were “looking into it.” I know they’ve returned some art to Jewish families in the past and then purchased the art from them to display it properly. Still, occasionally, at the museums Ross and I would side-eye each other and then go, “they’re looking into it, jeez!!”

- The Boros Collection. Speaking of Nazi c*nts, one of the cooler things we did in Berlin was tour the Boros Collection, a private collection of contemporary art housed in a former Nazi bunker, which was also a techno/fetish club in the ‘90s (because, Berlin). There were no photos allowed inside unfortunately, but the collection was awesome. Lots of interesting and provocative work from young artists of all different backgrounds. The Nazis would have hated it! I think I was most fascinated by Anna Uddenberg’s feminist, sometimes gynecological installations, He Xiangyu’s sculptural critiques of western culture and capitalism, and Klára Hosnedlová’s incredibly detailed embroidered “paintings.” Super cool place, and they rotate the collection every couple years from my understanding, so by the time you go, you might see a completely different version than I did. Be sure to book your tour in advance, though, because it’s not open to the public.

- Miniatur Wunderland in Hamburg. This museum is technically not “art” in the most literal sense, but I think there was a lot of artistry (and artisanry) involved in creating it. Miniatur Wunderland is the largest model train system in the world. It takes up multiple entire floors of a former old warehouse building in Hamburg, and it’s absolutely incredible. Even if you don’t give a shit about model trains, I think it would be hard not to find the scale and level of detail on display impressive. The museum recreates various different locations around the world in incredible, miniature detail, from Las Vegas to the Swiss Alps to Rio de Janeiro. It’s also highly interactive–you can press buttons to make different components move or light up. Because so many components have lights, the museum will also dim the overhead lights on occasion so you can get the nighttime experience. Obviously the museum is great for kids, but we went at eight o’clock at night to avoid them (lol sorry not sorry), and the crowd was mostly adults, young and old.

It was so freaking delightful, you guys. I just could not stop giggling at all the little Easter eggs and whimsical details throughout, like a UFO abducting a cow, or an underwater scene of Atlantis (yes, there are water elements). There’s one section that is multiple stories high. It was definitely the coolest thing we did in Hamburg, hands down.

- The Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. The most famous painting in the Rijksmuseum is probably Rembrandt’s The Night Watch, which is currently being restored, although you can still look at it while it’s being worked on from behind glass and scaffolding. In my opinion: meh to that particular piece. They have a very impressive collection of Rembrandt’s works in general, which is how I learned that Rembrandt is actually his first name, like Cher. Am I an idiot for not knowing that? Whatever, I’m smart now. There were also many, many incredibly beautiful landscapes, and portraits of rich dead women with big ruffly collars. What I love about the Dutch masters most is their use of light. So stunning!! Talk about that lit from within look! My Hourglass palettes could never!

- The entire Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam. Holy cow! Such a must-do if you’re a Van Gogh fan like me. I didn’t realize how many of his works they actually have there. That sounds stupid, but hear me out. On a previous Europe trip, I’d been to the Matisse Museum in Nice, which I thought was actually pretty disappointing, and didn’t have most of Matisse’s more well-known works. Same thing at Frida Kahlo’s house in Mexico City. I’d also seen The Starry Night at the MoMA in New York relatively recently, so I knew that one, at least, was not at the Van Gogh Museum. So I assumed the Van Gogh Museum would be more of a museum about his life, with maybe some of his early or less famous works.

Well… happily, um, no. The Van Gogh Museum goes hard as hell. They have The Potato Eaters, they have Sunflowers, they have Almond Blossoms, they have a ton of his self-portraits, and they have Bedroom in Arles, which is now my personal favorite painting of his. The perspective, the use of color, the ordinariness and humbleness of the scene, rendered extraordinary in his unique style. I fell absolutely in love with his yellows and golds while I was there. God, what a talent! What a tragic loss!

The museum also had his final, unfinished painting, Tree Roots, which is so fucking cool-looking, it just makes you wonder what his art would have looked like in the future if he’d chosen to stay on this planet and keep going past age 37. Would it have become even more abstract? What other colors would he have been drawn to? It kills me when you can see an artist growing in their final work. I felt that way with Elliott Smith and From a Basement on a Hill, too. Another man who took aim at his own heart, in the end.

Well, for fuck’s sake, I can’t end on suicide. Let me talk about something completely unserious, then: the toilet paper in Germany SUCKED. Pretty much everywhere used basic Scott, not soft at all, and neither of our hotel rooms there had a bidet. What’s even the point of going to Europe without a bidet? After our last vacation, to the global leader in toilet technology, Japan, I was very disappointed!!

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Until next time—go piss off a fascist, make some art!

Love,

Liz

XOXO