Hi friends!

How are you?? As my country’s government continues to make everything worse for everyone (write and call your reps!!), I hope you’re doing things that make you happy. Last weekend my husband Ross and I went down to Palm Springs for some chill time. I thought it would be kind of sleepy since it was the weekend before Coachella, but it was… not. I think what I realized is that I’m at a weird age now where I’m both too old and too young for Palm Springs. Too old because on Saturday, Ross and I brought books to read by the pool at the Saguaro, only to get there and realize it was A Whole Scene, like with a DJ and party cabanas and would you believe, not one single lounge chair was free?? It was a very sad walk back to our room. But we’re also too young for Palm Springs, because we went to Copley’s for dinner right when they opened and the parking lot was packed with seniors. One man even rapped on the door with his cane at 5:25pm, which was wild. They played smooth jazz and I didn’t think the food was that great, but I have to say, the service was very attentive and they had surprisingly affordable bottles of wine.

We got back to L.A. that Sunday just in time for my time slot to buy 2028 Olympics tickets, and boy, was that a disappointment! There were no tickets available for any of the good stuff, like gymnastics or skateboarding or even diving (I love diving), and everything available was like $300+ a ticket! Am I really going to spend that much money to watch a sport I’m not even interested in and know nothing about, just because it’s the Olympics? It turns out: no. I’m not. The events are also spread out all over the famously large L.A. area, and with my concerns about how bad traffic is going to get during these games, I really didn’t want to buy tickets for an event in, say, Inglewood. The only thing remotely affordable was baseball, at $100 a pop. But I’d rather spend that on a Dodgers game than on watching a couple of random international teams play, no offense to them. It was a big bust for me, which is a bummer since I love the Olympics, and this is the closest I’ve ever come to actually attending them.

Truthfully, I think most people in L.A. think it’s kind of insane that we’re hosting these games, and that we are not prepared. I already know that people are going to complain about the traffic and the public transit and the unhoused population. And those are valid issues, but people are sooo excited to complain about them. We are one of those cities that people are always frothing at the mouth to talk badly about, because we are cool and glamorous and beautiful. “I hate L.A.” is just such a basic-ass take at this point. It’s like people who say they hate cats. Oooh, how edgy!!! Look out Lenny Bruce, there’s a new guy pushing the boundaries of free speech!!

…and yeah, maybe that reference is more evidence that I’m too old for Palm Springs.

Lately, I have been trying to get out of the house and off of the internet as much as I can, but also, reality TV drama has been a welcome distraction. And I’m not just talking about Summer House, although boy, what a wild ride that has been. I don’t think I really have anything new to add to the conversation at this point, but to echo Jon Hamm, “Team Ciara, obviously.”

So, this week’s newsletter is all about other people’s delicious drama that I am eating up with a spoon, yum yum!! Let’s get into it:

- Neighbors (HBO Max). This docuseries about neighbor conflicts in the U.S. stresses me the fuck out!! Not just because sometimes they do too much with the editing (can they cool it with that spinning fish eye effect?), but because so many of the people they feature are absolutely infuriating. There’s a guy in the first episode who’s in a dispute with a woman about beach rights in Florida who positions himself as being logical and her as being emotional. This is something men do to women all the time and boy, does it grind my gears! It’s like, cool, so you just decided yourself to be the source of objective truth because…? OF COURSE he is Republican and she is liberal!

And the crazy thing is, I’m kind of on his side in their dispute! She keeps going to his private beach instead of the public ones because she thinks all the beaches should be public. Which like, that’s great and she should totally advocate for that in local government, but you can’t just plop yourself down on private property, lady. I think Madonna should lend her Frida Kahlo paintings to museums, but that doesn’t mean I can break into her house to look at them. But that’s the thing about Neighbors, sometimes you end up on the side of people you didn’t expect. Like, why am I siding against the screenwriter cat lady?? (Spoiler alert: because she idolizes Mel Gibson.) Worth a watch if you can stomach it. Just be warned, the season finale is about an aging nudist, and they show EVERYTHING. HBO gonna HBO.

- Love Trapped: Owens v. Echard. I have been absolutely riveted by this true crime podcast, about an alleged paternity case scam involving Clayton Echard, former star of The Bachelor. But I’ve been so, so hesitant to recommend it because FAR BE IT FROM ME to defend a man, let alone one of the least popular Bachelors in history!!! However, this really does seem like one of those statistically rare cases where a woman made false accusations against a man, and mucked it up for every other woman who shows incredible bravery by coming forward. The fact that the man involved is so hated is what makes the whole thing so fascinating.

If I was reading this, I think I would be like, “Okay, Liz, but are you sure she’s lying??” So let me give you some context. Clayton had a one night stand with a woman named Laura Owens during which they took edibles and she allegedly blew him twice, but they did not have penetrative sex. I’m sorry for being so graphic, but it’s necessary, because all the issues start when a few weeks later, Laura claims she’s pregnant. Then she says it’s with twins. At this point, as a product of American public school sex ed programs, I was thinking, “Okayyyy, not very likely, but I guess that’s like 1% possible if she mishandled his jizz somehow, accidentally or otherwise??” Laura then starts barraging Clayton with hundreds of texts and emails saying that she will only have an abortion if he “gives their relationship a chance.” Pretty suspect. But the kicker is when we find out that Laura has done this exact same thing before: filed a paternity suit against a guy who rejected her claiming that she was pregnant, with twins.

There’s sooo much more going on here including a doctored ultrasound, zero records of Laura ever seeing a doctor during her “high risk pregnancy,” Laura’s story conveniently changing multiple times, Laura going to the press and then, when she doesn’t like what they write about her, claiming they’re harassing her. And of course, none of these alleged pregnancies ever result in an actual baby. But I have to say, as much as Laura comes off like a truly unwell person and frankly, a spoiled brat who has never been told the word “no”... what I hate most of all about this case is that she’s made me side with actual slimeballs like Reality Steve!! Ugh!

For those of you who didn’t know, my husband Ross and I once hosted a Bachelor recap podcast called My Wife Is In This Room, from 2017-2019. We had a blast doing it and sometimes I miss it, but we ultimately stopped because a) there was just SO much content to keep up with–Bachelor in Paradise was putting out three HOURS of shows a week, and b) we started feeling really slimy about the franchise’s ethics, or lack thereof. We kind of stopped watching all Bachelor shows cold turkey after that. I think the only season we’ve watched since was season one of The Golden Bachelor. So, when I started listening to Love Trapped, I wasn’t really familiar with Clayton at all (although I do adore Gabby Windey, who is perhaps best known for being a “finalist” on his season and taking him to task for his behavior).

I don’t believe in dividing humans into “good people” and “bad people,” but let me just say: I’m not a fan of Clayton, I don’t think he handled all this perfectly, I’m not defending his actions on The Bachelor, and I’m not even saying he treated Laura particularly well. Frankly, I think it’s pretty shitty to let someone blow you twice without reciprocation and then be like, “k bye, I’m good, don’t call me again.” But it’s very disturbing to me that at any point, a sick person could become obsessed with you and just send you constant abusive messages, generating new phone numbers and email accounts so fast you can’t block them all, and there’s almost nothing you can do. I have seen friends deal with this before with abusive guys and it’s awful. I think there is vast room for improvement in how we handle stalking and harassment in this country in general. /soapbox

Anyway, I don’t want to spoil anything, but the podcast and some of the legal cases that came out of this situation are still ongoing, and I think it’s very interesting and worth a deep dive if you are into reality TV scandals. That is all!

- The Real Housewives of Rhode Island, season one (Bravo, Peacock). What I learned about Rhode Island from this show, the newest Housewives series, surprised me. For instance, I was surprised to be getting big tri-state area vibes from the cast, because I’ve always thought of Rhode Island as more Boston-adjacent. They root for the Pats, after all (boo hiss). I didn’t realize we’d be getting big, suburban, Italian American vibes, which, as someone who grew up in New Jersey, makes me feel all cozy and at home.

I know Ashley Iaconetti and her husband Jared from The Bachelor multiverse, although I did not know they owned a coffee shop, and I REALLY didn’t know that Jared was pulling down shifts as a barista there. Mad respect for that, by the way! We love an honest day’s work! It was just hilarious watching them try to film a typical Housewife-husband gossip scene while Jared was actively grinding beans and steaming milk and calling out orders. I’ve always liked Ashley, she has this dorkiness about her that I find refreshing, and I think it’s funny that she is the outsider in this cast, despite being the one who’s spent the most time on reality TV. 

I think Nosy Rosie is going to be a key component of this cast. She’s a former TV reporter, and she actually reminds me a little of my father-in-law, who was a celebrity journalist, in that they both have this quality where they will ask anyone about anything. I think that’s such an important person to have on a Housewives cast, because they keep things moving. Rinna used to be that person on Beverly Hills (“Were people doing coke in your bathroom?”), and then Garcelle, and now they don’t really have that person and the show is boring.

I am intrigued by Kelsey, a woman who’s been a sugar baby for the past 10 years and is now, on the verge of 30, thinking about leaving that situation. To be almost 30 and to have never held a job is toughhh. What’s she supposed to tell employers in job interviews? “I took a gap decade?” I get why she’s on the Housewives now. I also get why she stayed so long. In terms of sugar babies, she seems to have struck gold with her arrangement, in which her boyfriend spends half the year in Florida with his other girlfriend, and Kelsey just gets to chill in his 16,000 square foot… estate? Compound? Surely, when the square footage is over 10,000, we have to use another word than “mansion.”

Kelsey made an offhand comment about this home that I cannot stop thinking about: it has 79 TVs. How is that possible?? Even if there were one in every room, that would be 79 rooms. It’s only two stories! Or is there an evil lair somewhere with a big wall of TVs from surveillance cameras spying on people? (If he’s that rich, there’s a good chance he’s evil, after all.) Weirdly, out of this whole scenario in which a young woman is having sex with an older man for money, it’s the TVs that are grossing me out. In my own rambling 1,200 square foot estate, we just have one TV, in the living room, and I quite like it that way! I’m one of those annoying anti-TV-in-the-bedroom people. But okay, let’s imagine a home over 13 times larger than my own. Maybe you have TVs in a couple bedrooms, a couple living rooms, a home theater, a bar, a man cave, and one on the patio so you can watch movies outside in the summer. I still feel like you’re not going past 25. Am I crazy???

The crossroads that Kelsey’s at is super interesting to me, because on the one hand, she knows that the guy she’s with is never going to give her the committed marriage, kids, and family life she wants. But on the other hand, she has to know that it’s very unlikely she’s ever going to have access to this kind of wealthy lifestyle again. But then again, there was a scene where I clocked her taking a bottle of Whispering Angel out of the wine cellar and saying, “that’s the good stuff,” and not to wine-shame like Jo-Ellen, but girl, that’s a rosé you can buy at Target for $23.99… and frankly, I think it’s overpriced. So maybe her lifestyle isn’t that inaccessible after all. I do give her credit though, walking away from a life of leisure takes guts.

Alright y’all, that’s it for now! Hit reply or comment and let me know what your take is on all this drama.

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Until next time—do something that makes you happy!

Love,

Liz

XOXO