What’s wrong with everyone on Summer House 😎

Hi friends!

How are you?? I’m doing pretty well! When you receive this, I will be in New York City, hopefully taking a nap on my friend’s couch after a red-eye flight. I’m so excited to see family and friends and eat a decent slice of pizza. As per usual I am scheduled in pretty tightly, trying to squeeze in as many people as I can, so if you’re a New York friend reading this and I’m not going to get to see you, I’m so sorry! I’ll catch you on the next one! (You know there will always be a next one.)

Since this might be my only trip to NYC this summer, I’m going to try to make the most of it. I made this bingo card in Canva, please feel free to play along with me if you’re also spending time in the Big Apple this summer:

Not too much else has been going on with me this week. Ross and I went to a lovely co-ed baby shower last Sunday where people kept making the father-to-be do shots with them–pretty hilarious. It was a jungle-themed shower, and I managed to accidentally dress on-theme:

Let’s not dawdle, though, let’s get into some things:

- Cooking. Friends, last week I made these baked chicken meatballs which are not only the best non-red meat meatballs I’ve ever made, but are definitely in the running as some of the best Italian-style meatballs I’ve ever made, period. They are super easy to make and even have a “sneaky” serving of vegetables (spinach) in them. I was skeptical at first that the recipe called for powdered garlic and onion instead of fresh, but I actually think it resulted in a more concentrated, intense allium flavor throughout the meatballs. I served them for dinner in sandwiches with red sauce and melted mozz, but I just ate the leftovers plain the next day because they were so damn flavorful. I WILL be making these again!

Another delicious recipe discovery I had last week were these mixed berry muffins with a crunchy oat streusel topping. I had some fresh blueberries and raspberries about to die on me, so that’s what I used, but you could also use strawberries, blackberries, or any other berries, fresh or frozen. I like that the recipe used oats both in the batter and in the crunchy streusel topping. I followed that recipe to the letter except that in step 5, I melted the butter and mixed it into the other topping ingredients instead of cutting in solid butter (I loathe cutting in butter). It worked well! The muffins smelled incredible in the oven and tasted even better. I can’t wait to try these with different kinds of berries.

- Want to hear about some idiotic fatphobic Threads drama? I bet you didn’t know that people were still using Threads, let alone that there was drama on there! So, someone posted some obvious rage bait about how women who weigh more than 130 pounds should not wear sundresses. In my opinion, the conversation should have stopped there, with some idiot making a dumb post and no one responding to it. Silence is one of our most valuable weapons, people! Instead, thin women over 130 pounds became defensive and enraged, and started posting pictures of themselves in sundresses to prove that you can be over 130 pounds and still be hot and thin and conventionally attractive.

I hate this. I hate this so much. And why I hate this is because this response is so much more focused on establishing that “130+ pounds is NOT fat!!!” instead of, “Anyone of any size can wear a sundress, duh.” And maybe? Maaaaaybe??? There is an argument to be made somewhere about how men have no idea what most women weigh. But couching it as, “I actually weigh more than you’d think because I’m sooo skinny” is not it, sis!

What’s wrong with everyone on season eight of Summer House

I was recently sick with a whirlwind cold that was over in 72 hours, but in those 72 hours, I managed to binge-watch the entire eighth season of trashy reality TV show Summer House on Peacock. In a sense, did Summer House cure me? I believe it may well have.

Summer House is about a group of friends reality TV professionals in New York City who spend every weekend of the summer in a huge house in the Hamptons and throw themed parties every Saturday. It’s a lot of fun, and it’s a lot of dysfunction.

For the record, I had not watched any other season of the show before diving into this most recent season, and I didn’t feel left out of anything major. People are so “start with season one!” on everything, and then tell you “but it doesn’t get good until season X,” and truly, who has the time or patience for that?

In the style of Danielle, I’m going to tell you what’s wrong with everyone on this season of Summer House:

- Paige DeSorbo. Dare I say, I have not seen someone this funny, charismatic, and grounded in the real world on a Bravo show since Bethenny Frankel’s early days on RHONY! Paige is smart and knows when to keep her mouth shut and when to open it up and let the sass out, but she’s never downright mean, in my opinion. And her style is always on-point. A classic New York girl.

What’s wrong with her: She’s dating Craig from Southern Charm. Blurrrrgh.

- Gabby Prescod. Outside of one night when Gabby had a mental breakdown because everyone was pressuring her to flirt with a literal balloon man who Danielle had already cornered (I would break down, too), where was Gabby this season? I would have liked to get to know her better.

What’s wrong with her: She didn’t have a storyline this season.

- Danielle Olivera. I started out rooting for Danielle because she seemed to be the only person willing to confront Lindsay & Carl with the hard facts about their relationship (it sucks) (more on that later). However, then it became clear that this is just what Danielle does. She tells people, unsolicited, what’s wrong with them, and not in an especially gentle way. In the words of the Countess, who made you God? The way she was pushing Gabby to go after the, again, literal balloon man who she had already formed a connection with was just weird and mean. That’s like if I invited someone to a lasagna-off after I had already made my bolognese. Sure, you could try your best, but I’m already three and a half hours ahead of you. (I’m hungry writing this.)

What’s wrong with her: She lacks complete self-awareness. And honestly? Is kind of a b*tch.

- Jesse Solomon. Everyone referred to this man by his full name all the time, so I will, too. As a two-time cancer survivor waiting for his five-year all-clear, Jesse Solomon had perhaps the realest and most emotional storyline on the show. Otherwise, Jesse Solomon just had kind of a fun, slutty summer for himself, but it at least seemed like Jesse Solomon was pretty upfront about that. 

What’s wrong with him: The only bad thing Jesse Solomon did all summer was flirt with Paige when he knew she had a boyfriend. That’s sleazy, and beneath Jesse Solomon, but luckily he stopped doing that pretty quickly.

- West Wilson. Like Jesse Solomon, West was a new addition to the Summer House cast, and he became a real first season darling when he formed a connection with Ciara right away. West came off as sweet and genuine, not afraid to laugh at himself, following Ciara around like a regular golden retriever boyfriend. Ciara honestly started to look questionable, of the two of them, when she refused to sleep with him until he could commit.

Well, after the season’s over, come to find out, West never really did commit to Ciara after all. He jerked her around, doing boyfriend-y things like taking her as his date to a wedding and introducing her to his family (!!), and apparently, the whole time he was texting other bitches. The internet is absolutely furious with West, like, foaming at the mouth with rage, and I think they need to calm down a little, honestly. He’s a run-of-the-mill fuckboy, not a serial killer. Or maybe my bar for men on Bravo shows is just so low, I can’t even see it anymore.

What’s wrong with him: He’s a fuckboy.

- Ciara Miller. Ciara’s A-plot this season was all about her relationship with West, with a small B-plot about her signing to a modeling agency. With West, she didn’t want to get hurt again, which is understandable, but the truth is that there really isn’t any way to protect your feelings when you’re forming a connection with someone, so you might as well just dive in. I’m not victim-blaming, West is a total dog with a skewed sense of what a casual relationship looks like. But I think Ciara would have ultimately had more fun that summer if she’d just let herself enjoy the moment a bit more.

What’s wrong with her: She’s too in her head.

- Kyle Cooke. Now we’re getting into the meat & potatoes of this season of Summer House’s dysfunction: the couples. Kyle and his wife Amanda belong to the “do you guys even like each other?” school of marriage, even though they’ve only been married for like a year. To be fair, Kyle is in his early 40s, and Amanda says he will habitually stay out partying on weeknights until three and four in the morning, which she hates. Which, I think, anyone would hate. But then, Amanda hates a lot of innocuous things Kyle does, too, like talking and breathing. When she snaps at Kyle, he can’t regulate his emotions. Nobody pouts like Kyle. Overall, he is still acting like someone in their early 20s even though he’s in his 40s.

What’s wrong with him: He’s a child.

- Amanda Batula. There was a very sweet conversation between Amanda, Paige, and Ciara toward the end of the season where the women hyped Amanda up and told her how smart and creative she is, and how she deserves the world. I loved that scene because a) women lifting each other up and b) we finally started to see a different side to Amanda other than being Kyle’s Nagging Wife. I’m sorry, I know that’s a gendered stereotype and it’s a role Kyle certainly drove her to, but it’s also the role she was casting herself in. They were together for several years before getting married, enough time for her to figure out if Kyle was ever going to grow up and settle down. I think when you get married, you buy the car as-is.

What’s wrong with her: She married the fun party guy and expected him to change.

- Lindsay Hubbard. Lindsay started out this season engaged to Carl, who is Cali sober, and I don’t think the two of them managed to get through a single weekend without fighting. In the beginning of the summer, Lindsay would get drunk and nasty and accuse Carl of breaking his sobriety, which is abusive and mean. Luckily, she stopped doing that and moved on to just arguing with him about everything else.

They were doing a lot of couples therapy, and I have to give them credit for trying. I know some people say that doing couples therapy before you get married is a red flag, but I think that’s only because most people use couples therapy as a last resort. But then again, people also like to say “all couples fight” and “relationships are hard work” to justify staying in absolutely dogshit terrible relationships. People do a lot of things.

At the end of the season, Carl broke off their engagement and ended their relationship… on camera. That’s kind of shitty, but to this day, Lindsay continues to cry “blindsided,” which I find a bit suspicious. I can’t emphasize enough how much they fought ALL the time. I feel like anytime I’ve ever been blindsided by a breakup, I was able to look back later and go, “Oh, yeah, actually, things weren’t great for a while.” The fact that Lindsay can’t do that when the rest of us saw their complete lack of communication skills play out on TV week after week is pretty wild.

What’s wrong with her: She’s playing the victim a little bit.

- Carl Radke. For the record, I think Carl did the right thing in breaking off his and Lindsay’s engagement, I just think it would have been kinder to do it off-camera. Toward the end of the season, one of his biggest gripes with Amanda was that she wasn’t showing enough “softness and tenderness” toward him while he tried to figure out his job situation. As a fellow unemployed American, at first I was on his side, but then I heard Lindsay say something along the lines of, “It’s been 10 months, the time for softness and tenderness is over.” I kind of get that, especially since he was considering returning to a company that he felt was legitimately harmful to him the first time around. I would be asking questions, too.

What’s wrong with him: He’s naive.

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Whew! We did it! We psychoanalyzed the entire cast of Summer House. Give yourselves a round of applause!

If you have a second, I’d love it if you’d like or comment on this post–just click this link to go to the post page. This is a public post, so you can also share it on social media if you’d like.

Until next time—just wear the damn sundress!

Love,

Liz

XOXO