Things I can’t live without & birthday 🎂 twinning [Like You Know Whatever]

Hi friends,

This has been a really tough week for the world and while I normally try to keep this newsletter as an oasis of (mostly) positivity, I feel the need to acknowledge the horrific violence in Israel and Gaza. To be honest, I wrote out five paragraphs on this subject and rewrote them over and over again over the course of this week, agonizing over the perfect words to say. Trying desperately to ease everyone’s pain and acknowledge and validate so many different viewpoints on this incredibly complicated conflict.

It’s now 11pm on Thursday night, and I’ve just deleted them all. I realize that there is nothing I can say that will be enough right now. Emotions are too high. Hearts are too broken and need to heal. I think I’m a good writer, but I’m not THAT good.

I believe that you can support the Israeli people without blanketly supporting the Israeli government.

I believe that you can support Palestinian liberation without supporting Hamas.

I believe that you can support justice for one group of people without scapegoating or throwing another group of people under the bus.

I believe that no group of people should be treated as disposable.

I believe that multiple things can be true.

I believe in nuance.

I believe in clarity.

And I desperately hope for an end to this terrible cycle of violence.

I know that that’s not enough. I’m sorry. I’m here with you.

Now, I invite you to join me in taking a deep breath in and out, and then hugging your pet, if you have one and if it will let you. The rest of this newsletter will be very silly and stupid, I promise.

Love to you all. 🤍

* * *

So. How are you? Aside from ~the horrors~, I’m actually doing pretty well. The day that this newsletter comes out happens to be my birthday! I hesitate to tell you my new age, because in Hollywood years, I am ancient, but fuck it: today, I am 37. But a young 37. Maybe the youngest 37 there ever was?

Fun fact: today is also my mother-in-law’s birthday! When I tell people that my mother-in-law and I share the same birthday, they tend to grimace, expecting stories of drama and conflict to follow, but it’s actually never really been an issue, because we are both reasonable people. The only thing we compete on is who will be the first to call and wish the other a happy shared birthday. She always beats me with the better card, though; one year, she even found one that said something like “I love sharing a birthday with you.” I was amazed. There has to be a pretty small demographic for that type of card, no? Like, mostly twins, I guess? Anyway, my mother-in-law is awesome, I hope she’s having a great day today!

Some people hate their birthdays, or at least, don’t like to celebrate them much, and I totally respect that, but honestly? I love my birthday. I love getting calls and messages from my friends and family all day long letting me know they’re thinking about me. I almost always take the day off. I started doing that in my early 20s because I hated my first job and the thought of having a sad corporate birthday party at the office made me want to die, but then I realized how nice it was to have a random day off in mid-October and just kept doing it. I sleep in, eat something indulgent for breakfast, and spend the day doing whatever the fuck I want. It’s great.

My husband Ross always spoils me rotten on my birthday. It is honestly usually a multi-day celebration, with dinner and a show. I know, I’m the worst. But I always go overboard with HIS birthday, too, because it’s right around Christmas and everyone knows that sucks, so I like to think he just matches my energy. ;) We usually surprise-decorate the living room the night before each other’s birthdays and get a cake from Porto’s (DROOL). And he is the most thoughtful gift giver ever. I try, but Ross always beats me. One time, years ago, we were watching Modern Family together and I mentioned offhand that I liked a mug Cam was using, and months later, on my birthday, guess what I got? He’s the best.

So tonight, we’re going out for a nice dinner at a restaurant in town, then tomorrow, we’ll be driving out to the desert with a dear old friend to chill and go see a concert. I’ll tell you all about it next week. I am just so excited to get out of my apartment building and get out of Los Angeles, even if it’s only for two nights. The desert is beautiful in the fall, when it’s finally not too hot. I can’t wait to look up at all the stars at night, and soak in the peace and quiet.

Well, after all the drama last week with our apartment building shutting off the water repeatedly, we were finally able to relax that weekend… by taking our car into the shop. We were driving to Pasadena to pick up takeout sushi on Friday night and started getting weird dashboard alerts, and the car started shaking. One visit to Pep Boys and eight hundred dollars later (OUCH), all is fixed, but damn, we have had some kind of run of bad luck these past few weeks! It’s just been one thing after another. I swear that I don’t normally complain this much. I am usually a pretty happy, optimistic person. You should see me on my walks, I’m smiling at butterflies, cats, dogs, hummingbirds, even at crows because I read somewhere they remember faces, and I’m not trying to get on their bad side. Bottom line? I’m a cheerful f*cking b*tch, okay?!

Next weekend, I’ll be traveling to New York City to attend a bestie’s wedding. I’m SO happy for her and it sounds like it will be a really fun, intimate celebration. I don’t know if there’s a place on Earth I love more than New York City in the fall. Also, I’ll be crashing with a good buddy in Harlem and I get to meet his dog for the first time!! Yay! I’ll only be there for three nights so unfortunately, I won’t get to see family and probably won’t even leave Manhattan, to be honest. But I come back for a week around Thanksgiving and another wedding in January, so I’m hoping to catch up with more people then.

Let’s get into some things:

- Cooking. This week, Ross requested that we have a “white person taco night.” You know: hard shell tacos with basic seasoned ground beef, with little bowls of toppings like chopped iceberg lettuce and fresh tomatoes, shredded cheese, etc. My mom used to do that all the time growing up and it was the best! I can’t remember the last time I did that as an adult, though, so I thought it was a great idea. I have a deep love and appreciation of authentic Mexican food, and living in Los Angeles, we are blessed with an abundance of it, but sometimes you just want the fake stuff, ya know? We ate the tacos with yellow rice and an avocado-ranch salad, and watched Dracula: Dead and Loving It. A very decent Taco Tuesday indeed.

I also made chicken parm and served it with that one-pot farro with tomatoes I told you about last week. This time, I added a splash of white wine to the farro when it was about halfway done cooking, and it really added depth and flavor. Delish!! I usually serve chicken parm with spaghetti in tomato sauce, but that’s kind of boring and blah, why not mix things up a bit? I think the combo really worked!

Lately, I’ve been really wanting to make some kind of special, super time-intensive baked pasta dish that involves hours of sauce simmering, like lasagna bolognese or this baked rigatoni with lamb ragu. Any other suggestions? 

Things I Can’t Live Without

Recently, I read this New York Mag interview with writer Samantha Irby about the things she can’t live without, and I loved how real she got (a toilet paper rec!). I decided that I would do the same and share the items that I use the most in my daily life. Enjoy!

- World's Best Unscented Clumping Corn Cat Litter ($18.35 for a 15-lb bag). When we adopted our darling cat, our contact at the shelter (who was at the time a friend of my husband’s who later went off the no-vax right-wing deep end, yikes) suggested this cat litter, because it’s biodegradable and YOU CAN FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET! We have tried other litter situations, but the perk of being able to flush our cat’s waste when we scoop just far outweighs any other potential cons. We keep the litter box in the bathroom and it is so damn easy. It does NOT clog the toilet. We’ve been using this for over 10 years now. I’ve tried multiple varieties of this litter and don’t see much of a difference between them, honestly. They have a customer in me for life.

- Fjällräven Classic Kånken backpack ($90). This little backpack has been my go-to everyday bag for almost 10 years now. I first bought one when I was living in Brooklyn, because a friend was working at Fjällräven at the time and got me a discount. When you live in New York, you are always walking everywhere and schlepping stuff around, so having a bag with some decent volume that equally distributes its weight across both of your shoulders is a big plus. I sometimes think about replacing it with something fancier, but it is just so lightweight and easy. It can fit my favorite 32 oz. water bottle, a cardigan, a book, and even a laptop if I need it. I LOVE it for travel because I can zip it closed and carry everything I need for the day in it. The only thing I don’t like is that it is very casual, so it doesn’t go with every outfit. And it’s too big for certain venues and museums, but that comes with the backpack territory.

- Large stainless steel mixing bowls ($11.16 each). We got two of these bowls as wedding gifts, and I use them almost every day. I use them for salads, popcorn, mixing up meatball mince, and of course, baking. They are sturdy and resilient workhorses in a way that I don’t trust my Pyrex set of glass mixing bowls. They’re super easy to clean and can go in the dishwasher no problem. In my opinion, everyone needs at least one.

- Stemless wine glasses. We have lovely classic wine glasses for when company is over, but if it’s just me and my husband, we usually default to our stemless wine glasses. We have a kitty who likes to jump on tables and a husband who likes to put his feet up on the coffee table and a wife who has been known to break things while tipsy, so it is just much safer this way. I like these cute stainless steel cups from ban.do, although they’re a bit pricey. I also think this set is quite pretty.

- Adidas slides ($35). Adidas makes the comfiest, coolest slides I know. Sometimes you just need an easy slip-on shoe for a quick run to pick up the mail or take the garbage out. These are perfect for that. I usually go barefoot in my apartment but I like to wear these when I’m cooking for a little support. They are much nicer looking than Crocs, in my opinion. I will never wear Crocs. *shudders*

- o.b. Original Non-Applicator Tampons ($7.68 for 40). Yeah, that’s right. I’m going there. These are my favorite tampons. They are really fucking comfortable and are super compact, so if you work in an office, you can easily palm one and walk all the way across the office to the bathroom with it and no one will know. They are also pretty environmentally-friendly, because they do not come with applicators. I know that that’s controversial. A lot of people love their Tampax Pearls and do not want to, as Reductress so eloquently put it once, finger fuck themselves in a public bathroom. But for me, I don’t like the way that Tampax tampons expand sideways so that when you remove them, you’re pulling a big rectangle out of yourself. Do you know what I mean? O.b. tampons remain cylindrical. That’s more comfortable to me. Anyway, if you’ve never tried them before, maybe give them a go?

And on tampons, let’s leave it there.

Don’t forget to like and comment on this newsletter if you’d like–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top. You can also catch up on all the premium content I’ve released so far right here.

Until next time—think of peace.

Love,LizXOXO