Goodbye, summer? & a rant 🤬 about right-wing ghouls [Like You Know Whatever]

Hello sweet friends!

How are you? If you’re in the U.S., I hope you had a lovely Labor Day weekend. Growing up in New Jersey, Labor Day always felt like the “true” end of summer, because we went back to school right afterwards. Living in Southern California, the end of summer is a more amorphous thing. Kids go back to school in August, September is usually the hottest month of the year, and the warm weather continues into October. I never feel like the season has really changed to fall until I swap out my box fan for the space heater, which usually happens well into spooky season.

It probably doesn’t help that many of my neighbors here in Highland Park keep seasonally inappropriate holiday decorations up all year ‘round. I’m not just talking about Christmas lights, either; there’s a “Happy Easter” sign with eggs and bunnies, some foil hearts that went up around Valentine’s Day and never came back down, and one neighbor down the street has had a plastic jack o’ lantern on their roof for a year that’s actually about to come back into seasonality, so good for them. They also have a vicious black pug that barks my head off anytime I come within 100 feet of it. I always wonder, if it got out from behind their fence, would it be one of those dogs that barks a lot but actually smothers you in kisses once it meets you? Maybe that’s wishful thinking, and it’s just a poorly trained dog, like so many small dogs in L.A. I’ll update you if I ever get to formally meet it!

Last time I wrote to you, I was about to head off to San Francisco, and boy, did I have a wonderful time up there! I was only there for two nights, taking advantage of my husband’s free hotel room during his business trip there, but I feel like I packed a lot in. I had oysters and french fries at Hog Island overlooking the bay, I went to visit the sea lions at Fisherman’s Wharf, then rode a cable car all the way back downtown. I got a burrito at La Taqueria in the Mission and walked it off while hoofing it to Dolores Park. And I got to see Weezer at the Greek, an outdoor music venue on the UC Berkeley campus.

I have to say, I did not care much for that venue. It was a general admission show, and I didn’t get there early enough to snag one of the stone benches, so I was up on the lawn above them, which was probably more comfortable, anyway, although I did get a grass stain on my overpriced Madewell jeans, if anyone has any tips on getting that out. (Look, they’re the first non-skinny jeans I’ve bought in 10 years, it was kind of a big deal to invest in them, Millennial that I am.)

I was planning on attending the show alone, but then my husband, Ross, was able to leave his work event earlier than expected and join me. I had such a good time with him! I often think of Ross as being so different than me, because he’s athletic and I’m not, and he’s stable and works a real job and I’m artsy and will follow my dreams off a cliff, but then I catch him singing along to a Weezer song I had no idea he knew and it feels like when we were 22 and I was first falling in love with him and I was so delighted to find out that he watched Summer Heights High, too, and liked the same comedy as me. I love the stability of marriage, but it is nice to get those butterflies again once in a while, too. (If he is reading this, I bet he is totally rolling his eyes at me. “Wow, glad you realized you still like me.”)

Weezer put on an incredible show and I was so glad that I was there to see it (they have a few more shows in the US and then some in Australia if you can catch them), but the biggest highlight of the trip for me was getting to visit my friends in Alameda. They have a five and a half year-old who just started kindergarten, and the last time I saw him, he was so little, he couldn’t even talk yet. This time, he was all bursting with energy and “Wanna see my room?” and “What’s your favorite color?” What a delightful child! Sometimes people assume that because I don’t want children of my own, I must hate kids, but I actually love spending time with kiddos! They’re hilarious, and so much fun! To paraphrase Whoopi Goldberg, I just don’t want somebody in my house. But being a fun auntie? Truly, the role I was born to play!

Now I’m back in Los Angeles until a little desert trip in October for my birthday. Ross and I usually go away in September for our anniversary, but the conference he attends every year in San Diego falls over that day, and this time I am NOT tempted to tag along. I don’t really “get” San Diego. It feels like where all the people who were really into Greek life in college moved, and I went to a liberal arts college that didn’t have fraternities or sororities. We had an official student circus troop instead. San Diego is weird because it’s kind of conservative, but it’s also all about the laidback beach lifestyle, but it’s also all about the military, but it also has really good beer and seafood and Mexican food, but also some people own guns. It’s chill, but also not chill at all. I don’t know, it’s all just a little too much for me. Some people prefer it to L.A., but I don’t really get what San Diego is supposed to have that Los Angeles doesn’t. Sorry!!

There are a lot of things I’m looking forward to in these last few months of 2023. A comedic web series I directed is finally going to premiere (more on that soon), I get to celebrate one of my best friends getting married in New York City in the fall (the best place on Earth for fall!), and then in December: Japan! But before all of that happens, let’s get into some things:

- Cooking. Lest you think that I am always making fancy, gourmet dishes, I have a friend who made fun of Ross and me last time he visited town because he said that we’re “always making hot dogs.” Which is not fair! He just happens to keep visiting us during summer holiday weekends, when, yeah, of COURSE we’re making hot dogs, is this not AMERICA?! Yes, hot dogs are gross because who knows what’s in them, but so are a lot of delicious foods, like queso dip from a jar, McNuggets, and blue Slurpees. I’m a high-low kind of gal. And honestly, this friend should understand that, too, because we were talking about grilled cheeses once, and when I said I make mine with gruyere and sharp cheddar, he said he just uses American singles. Your Honor, I rest my case!

I also made a dish referred to as “pizza beans” that is basically white beans in tomato sauce baked with mozzarella on top, served with crusty bread. I used canned cannellini beans and pre-shredded mozz, and can you get humbler than that? I guess you could use a jarred marinara instead of making the tomato sauce yourself. I haven’t made this dish in years, and it was SO good! It also seems like it would please kids who are picky about vegetables, or adults who are weird about meatless meals. Maybe. I don’t know your particular picky person, but cover something in cheese and everyone is good, no?

- Hungry Crowd. Last Sunday, some friends invited Ross and me to brunch at this Korean/comfort food fusion place in Toluca Lake, and holy crap, it was so good! First of all, they serve their mimosas in pint glasses, which is unhinged. But the food was also insane, in the best way! We shared the kimchi biscuits as a table, and I got the bulgogi eggs benedict, which I know sounds incredibly indulgent, but I thought everything was very well-portioned (well, except for the mimosas). Ross got the chicken and waffles and was a little disappointed because he was expecting more of a bonchon-style chicken with a sweet and sticky glaze, when it was just regular crispy. I have to agree with him that that would have been a better preparation, but he said it was still really tasty. I would definitely recommend this place to anyone who happens to be in the area! The menu is huge, so there should be something for everyone on it.

- Sun Haven (Steam). I recently got tooootally sucked into this cozy farming sim, which also has elements of fantasy and combat. It’s easy to compare it to Stardew Valley, but I think there are some things that Sun Haven does better than Stardew, and some things that it doesn’t do as well. Regardless, this is yet another game that had me so consumed, I barely ate for days while playing it. I actually started to get stressed out about managing my farm(s). There are even crops you can grow in winter in this game, so you never get a fucking break. One thing I don’t like is that if you get past five hearts with an NPC, you’re suddenly automatically dating them? That’s so fast! And their dates are always so lame, like “come to my house and I’ll talk at you about my backstory for 10 minutes before I say it’s getting late.” And then, why can’t I romance certain other characters, like the drunk elf who never leaves the tavern? Hello! Mama needs to save somebody from hims(elf)!

- Class of ‘07 (free on Prime Video). This Australian comedy series is about what happens when the apocalypse hits during a 10-year class reunion at a private all-girls Catholic boarding high school. The cast is all women, and it passes the Bechdel test with flying colors. It’s like if Yellowjackets was a comedy, with notes of Orange Is the New Black (an all-female cast finds themselves with limited resources and creates their own hierarchy, etc.). I’ll be honest, I thought the first episode was a bit rough, but the show really finds its rhythm as it goes on. I also want to warn you that there are quite a few gross-out moments, so maybe don’t eat dinner while you watch it. Hey, survival is disgusting. But overall, I really liked it, and thought it was well worth a watch! I’m still a bit confused about why this was set in 2017, though…?

- Here is a list of movies that I’ve seen over the past few months that I enjoyed and recommend but don’t have like a whole thing to say about them:

• The Blackening

• Decision to Leave

• Banshees of Inisherin

• Top Gun: Maverick

• The Out-Laws

• Joy Ride

• Fast X (fun but omg this was so long, they literally brought back every character who’s ever been in the franchise)

- Mitch McConnell freezing up in front of the press for the second time. If you don’t know who this man is, I envy you; also, he’s the Senate Minority Leader, which means he’s the Republican Party’s bitch. He’s a conservative extremist, and more or less stands for everything I’m against. He was pretty instrumental in laying the groundwork for Roe v. Wade getting overturned. He is also 81 years young!

The first time he froze up in front of the press, I saw the video, and my honest-to-god knee-jerk reaction was, “Oh my God, I hope he’s okay.” I know. What the fuck was that? Look, I was a human reacting to another human in poor health, okay? Or, maybe, a human reacting to a lizard person in poor health, who can say? But then I took a breath and realized: wait a second, this man wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire. He has spent his career working tirelessly to strip me and so many others of our rights and make life harder for us. He’s a fucking ghoul. And while I don’t think it’s good karma to wish death upon anyone, it just seems impossibly cruel that he is still in this world while Pee-wee Herman is not. Fuck!

I feel very conflicted about the Boomers these days. Some days, I’m like, oh my gosh, I wish they’d all just get raptured already so that we’d have a chance at a functional government that would actually do something about climate change. But then other days, I’m like, but my parents are Boomers! I don’t want them to go yet!

At least, if they were retiring from powerful government positions, we might have a shot. I honestly don’t understand why anyone with that kind of wealth would want to continue working into their 80s. Forbes says that Mx. McConnell’s net worth is $30 million (I just know he would hate a gender-neutral honorific). If I had that kind of money, I’d build a time machine so I could retire even SOONER than the earliest possible second. I’m unemployed, and I still wish I worked less. I would keep writing, because I love writing, but you couldn’t catch me sponsoring a bill or trying to stack the Supreme Court. For what? To make another crooked dollar I won’t live long enough to spend? Bitch, get out of here! I’d be on a beach somewhere with a frozen drink in my hand, the kind with a little umbrella in it. Or in Beverly Hills, getting an incredibly expensive, experimental beauty treatment that will make my skin glow so much it’s actually kind of unsettling. Or I would be putting a second water slide on my mansion that goes from my bedroom into the pool, because what if my husband and I want to slide at the same time? Ooh. I can think of so many things that are more fun than working.

And then, I guess, the counterpoint is: Biden. He’s 80, and up for re-election, and I hope he wins?? I mean, the alternatives are pretty gruesome at this point. De Santis is a literal Disney villain waging a genocide against trans people, Trump can’t stop won’t stop getting indicted, who even likes creepy-ass Mike Pence?? and don’t even get me started on Chris Christie. As someone from New Jersey, let me tell you, you should NEVER trust our politicians, because even the Dems are corrupt as shit, and Christie has proven himself to be awful many times over. But as one of the rare Republican Trump critics, is he the least awful one running for the Republican presidential ticket? And does that even matter? Are we really giving out pats on the back now for being the most reasonable death cult member?

Woof! Thanks for letting me rant! I hope you know that I was mostly joking about, well, everything.

- Let’s end on a more positive note. I was reading a bit about Jimmy Buffett this week, after he passed (I swear, this is going to get more upbeat). He basically built a career out of being a chill dude who loves Hawaiian shirts and margaritas and being on vacation. While some artists resent their most popular songs and try to distance themselves from them as they get older, Buffett rode “Margaritaville” and “Cheeseburger in Paradise” all the way to the bank. Did you know that with all of his business ventures, he was one of the world’s richest musicians, with a net worth of $1 billion? And yet, by all accounts, he was somehow not a dick. He held fundraisers for Florida Democrats, bless him, even though that alienated some of his conservative fans. I feel like half of his fan base lives in Florida, so that’s a pretty big deal.

I think what we should all take away from Jimmy Buffett’s legacy is to be true to ourselves, spread joy, and try to have more fun in everything we do. Also: dream big. He wrote “Margaritaville” in 1977, and it could have been a one-hit wonder, but over 40+ years, it became a giant, multifaceted international brand. I’m not saying that we should take all our artistic ideas and turn them into casinos. I just think that Jimmy Buffett proves that you don’t have to be a workaholic to have ambition or be successful. You can be the guy who loves taking it easy. That is a pretty radical idea, under capitalism.

That’s it for this week’s newsletter! Next week, I’ll be sending out September’s premium newsletter, but if you’re a free subscriber, you’ll be able to read the intro part before the paywall.

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Until next time—take it easy.

Love,LizXOXO