Desert vibes & chain restaurants [Like You Know Whatever]

Hi darlings!

How ARE you?? I’m doing quite well. As I sit down to write this, I’m sitting outside somewhere in the Yucca Valley, trying to take in a desert sunset while also taking a break from stabbing away at a screenplay I’ve been working on for way too long. I took a week off before I start my new job to finish up some writing projects, so I came out here for two nights to get some pages down. I guess technically, I could’ve done that in my home office, but it’s so much nicer to write with a view, don’t you think? I find I do a lot of thoughtful staring into space while I’m writing, so why not stare at a beautiful desert landscape instead of all the random crap that we’re storing in my office. And I have been making progress, actually, so this technique works, too!

I never realized until I came out to the desert that mountains can actually be purple. Right now I’m looking up at a gorgeous indigo mountain range, a pink and orange sky, blue clouds, and green and brown Joshua trees. Earlier this evening I saw a fox trot by, and a giant black bird flew so close to the patio that I could hear the flap of its wings (I don’t know if it was a crow or a raven–I’m bird-dumb).

I love the desert in the American Southwest so, so much. It feels like it vibrates at an entirely different frequency than the city of Los Angeles. This is going to sound cheesy as fuck, but I like how it makes me slow down. Like watching this sunset. It reminds me of my honeymoon in Hawaii, how watching the sunset was an event every night. You know I love L.A. (one of the least cool things about me), but I also love that there are so many unique escapes within just a two to three hour drive of the city. I feel really, really lucky that I’ve been able to do a couple of self-imposed writers’ retreats over the years that I’ve been living there.

The only thing I don’t like about my little trip is being alone by myself in a house. I’ve never liked that, even when I was a kid. It feels too vulnerable. It didn’t help that last night I had an extremely realistic nightmare that someone was in the house with me. There are a couple of locked doors to rooms that store the owners’ stuff, and last night, I dreamt that people had been hiding in them all day, only to come out in the middle of the night while I was asleep. (It was like that scene in Girls5Eva where they discover their AirBNB owner is actually staying inside a closet, except not funny.) In the dream, I was in my bedroom, but I could hear them turning on the fan in the bathroom and the scattering sound of them pouring something like cereal into a bowl in the kitchen. It was super creepy and it felt SO real! I woke with a racing heart, but when I listened, there was only the incredible silence of the desert.

Then, because I’m in writing mode, I thought: gee, wouldn’t that make a great idea for a horror movie? I’ve always thought the desert could be a great setting for one: all the distance between the little houses, half of them empty vacation rentals, the dirt roads, the isolation, the darkness at night, the bird calls… eerie, right? But I have too many other projects on my plate right now to be thinking about that.

Next week I start a new job, and my anxiety has been on High. I don’t know what to tell ya–certain life events just stress me out, no matter how positive. And speaking of life events, this weekend I will have the incredible honor of going on a double date with some friends to the Cheesecake Factory, an establishment where I have never been before. This date is kind of an inside joke that we decided to actually execute, and it could be a terrible mistake. What should I order? I’ve heard the lore about their enormous menu and want to be prepared. I want to get a disgustingly sweet cocktail with too many garnishes, maybe one that’s an unnatural color, like blue or green.

Chain restaurants are the best sometimes, no? When you live in a city with great local restaurants, you rarely find yourself going to big chains, so it’s almost a treat when someone has a wedding in the ‘burbs and you end up walking to the Applebee’s next to the hotel and getting late night spinach and artichoke dip or whatever. When I was growing up in Jersey, I used to love Romano’s Macaroni Grill. Their create-your-own pasta was bangin’, and they would always bring you bread and olive oil to dip it in. I’d never seen anything so classy!

Here are some recommendations & reviews:

- Can one of you please buy this gorgeously colorful skirt from LALA  so I can live vicariously through you? It’s only available in extra small, small, and medium, so I’m out, but I think it’s the most beautiful item of clothing I’ve ever seen. My only quibble is that I don’t love the length; tea-length on a pleated skirt just seems a little dowdy to me, and this design is anything but.

- In my on-going quest to cook more tacos, I ended up making some blackened salmon tacos last week that honestly, were not my favorite. I will take some of the credit for that, as I think I overcooked the salmon, but also, I think salmon is just not that great a fish to use for tacos. In theory, a meaty fish like that sounds perfect, but in reality, it’s too assertive, and tacos are all about finding a balance between filling and toppings.

And then, this week, I made some mushroom fajitas with shiitakes and portobellos that we ate as tacos. Not bad, but not great either. I think they would have been better if I’d skipped the shiitakes and done all portobellos. As far as finding a balance between toppings and filling, well, they were pretty much all toppings. I will keep you posted on my taco adventures!

- The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. This Peacock exclusive series was a freaking delight. At this point, a decade and a half into the Real Housewives cinematic universe, I’ve seen all kinds of attempts to revitalize the franchise, most of them unsuccessful. RHUGT, however, hit the nail on the head. This show kept it light, with enough drama to keep it interesting but none of the legal battles or alcohol dependence issues that have weighed down the other series as of late. Plus, it was simply a joy to see Housewives from all these different cities interacting with each other on camera for the first time. It never made sense to me why there hasn’t been more crossover; we know these ladies all know each other, or, at least, know of each other. Anyway, I recommend the show if you want a breezy reality binge watch, it’s definitely worth getting Peacock for a month or so.

- Bridgerton season 2. I’ve been really enjoying the direction this season has taken for Netflix’s favorite modernized Regency-era romance: less sex, more longing. I know a lot of people may disagree with me on that, but I’ve never been much of a fan of sex scenes in TV and film anyway. I can never stop thinking about how awkward they must be to film for the actors. This season is definitely a slow burn romance (with lots of meaningful! staring!), but it’s a good one. I’ve been absolutely sucked into the story, even though at this point, I’m sick to death of empire-waist gowns. I would even take a drop-waist silhouette at this point (*shudders*)!

- Trixie Cosmetics. A few weeks ago, I purchased two items from internationally renowned drag queen superstar Trixie Mattel’s makeup line, and I was very impressed with the quality of both! I bought her Stacy matte lipstick, which comes in an adorable heart-shaped tube and is the Barbie dreamhouse pink of my… well, dreams. Admittedly, the color is not for the faint of heart, but wow, is it gorgeous. And then I also snapped up the Team Trixie eyeshadow palette which unfortunately is sold out now, although you can sign up to be alerted when it’s back in stock. That’s my biggest problem with Trixie’s line: her products sell out too fast! But let me tell you, these shadows are so high quality, you might just want to try another one of her palettes. She also just launched some cream blush sticks you might be interested in, although between my Glossier Cloud Paints and holy grail Hank and Henry palette, I’m kind of good on blush right now.

Oh, and I also bought this heart-shaped hand mirror, which is very generously sized for something so cute. If only it had built-in lighting, like Kim Chi’s mirrors, it would perfect, but I’m still quite happy with the purchase.

- I recently bought this “Dump Them” shirt from Bad News Wares, a gender neutral take on Britney Spears’ famous tee in this paparazzi photo. However, lately, I’ve been overthinking this purchase; namely, what’s the point of changing the pronoun to something gender neutral? Wasn’t the point of the original shirt to empower women (and anyone who dates men) to rid themselves of toxic guys? Wasn’t it kind of an anti-patriarchal rallying cry? And doesn’t “Dump Them” sound like we’re blanketly encouraging the dumping of nonbinary people? Not that nonbinary people can’t also be toxic! They can be anything! Oh dear… like I said: overthinking it. (Whatever, I’m wearing it to the Cheesecake Factory.)

- Top Chef: Houston. Can you believe Top Chef is in its 19th season?? Wild. My husband and I love this show–we’ve even gone to a few of our favorite contestants’ restaurants after watching them compete. This season is great so far, but I honestly feel bad for the judges because they keep basing the challenges around such heavy food, and there are still so many contestants left! The FIRST elimination challenge required everyone to make a dish based around a primal cut of beef. That means they ate FIFTEEN beef-based dishes! And believe me, nobody was making a salad. Then, last week, they all had to create dishes with smoked brisket. The judges sat there and ate 10 different smoked briskets! I mean, JFC. I would be sick. But I guess everything’s bigger in Texas, right?

One thing that I love to make fun of about Top Chef is the pretentious language the judges use to describe the food. My current hate-vorite (favorite to hate) is “eats.” For instance, “It eats very salty.” Just say it’s too salty! And don’t get me started on “mouthfeel.” Blegh! Is there a more revolting portmanteau in existence?

Alright, that’s enough from me! Please keep the taco and hot sauce recs coming, if you have any! Justin, I tried the Hector’s hot sauce you recommended in the comments of my last newsletter, and it was a smoky and tangy delight, so thank you! The bottle is indeed quite small, though.

Don’t forget to like, comment, and share this newsletter if you’re so moved–you can use the buttons at the bottom or the top.

Until next time—dump them?

Love,LizXOXO