Desert 🏜 rocks & squishy Scorpios [Like You Know Whatever]

Hi friends,

How are you? I hope you’re doing well and having a beautiful day. Last weekend, I had a lovely time out in Joshua Tree/Pioneertown with my husband Ross and our dear old buddy. We were often without cell service for hours at a time, and man, did I ever need that break from social media! Instead of doomscrolling, we drove around Joshua Tree National Park and looked at giant rocks that have been there for millions of years. I find it so soothing when nature makes me feel small and insignificant. I feel that way when I look at the ocean, too. Like we humans are such idiots running around thinking that our tiny blip of time on this Earth means anything. It’s probably the closest I get to spirituality these days.

I am, of course, horrified by the humanitarian crisis in Gaza and want the hostages to be released and want a ceasefire and want the U.S. to stop funding war crimes and want peace and want children to get to grow up and want all of us to stop fucking attacking each other. This is probably the most divisive political topic I’ve ever encountered in my lifetime. Even people on the same “side” are arguing with each other, about what they’re saying and how they’re saying it. Words are really failing us right now. I have my own opinions but they’re not static, as I’m constantly learning from others and watching the situation develop, and I have a lot of empathy for different perspectives. For that reason, I’ve decided that I’m going to be mostly keeping the actions I’m taking off of social media and this newsletter from now on. It’s all too much and I don’t want to cause anyone more pain, or say something today that might not be true tomorrow. I wish we could all just grant each other a little more grace.

I was supposed to be in New York City today, but unfortunately, circumstances changed at the last minute due to Covid and I made the difficult decision to cancel my trip. I am super bummed to be missing my dear, dear friend’s wedding, but at the same time, I have to own that decision. I probably would have made a different decision if I was local or if X factor or Y factor were different, but it is what it is.

I hope my friend knows how much I love her and hope she has the most amazing day. I like to think that good friendships are stretchy and accommodating. I’ve known my friend since college, a good 15+ years, but I really got to know her when we lived together in a shared house senior year. She is short but fierce as fuck, a world traveler, an educator, a Capricorn, has the darkest sense of humor of anyone I know, and is an amazing cook (she got me to like kugel!). I will never forget waking up the morning after Halloween senior year to find her just coming home from the hospital after she somehow broke her tooth making out with a guy dressed like a mustard bottle. Or her transformation from famously hating cats to becoming a total cat lady with two of her own. Or her and my other dear friend’s speech at my wedding calling themselves my sisters… my Seven Sisters. She is brilliant and funny and tough and wonderful and I hope she and her husband-to-be have the best day!

Let’s get into some things:

- Monday marks the beginning of Scorpio season! Scorpios are enigmatic, passionate, moody, seductive, intense, determined, and fearless. They love their little grudges and while they may not react to a slight in the moment, they’ll never forgive OR forget it. They speak more with their eyes than their tongues (they give epic side-eye). They are known for being absolutely filthy in bed. They love things that are dark and twisted – hello, Halloween birthdays? They are epic secret-keepers. They can be your best friends or your worst enemies – indeed, a lot of evil people throughout history have been Scorpios, but a lot of great artists, too. They can be quite cynical but that’s just them being protective of their hearts because, like all water signs, they feel things deeply. I also find them to be very funny and sarcastic, but I tend to attract those kinds of people in general.

Scorpio is probably the most maligned sign in the zodiac due to their intensity, but honestly? I fucking love a Scorpy. But then, I’m unhinged and live for other people’s drama, and Scorpios are very dramatic. A fast food worker will forget their ranch and then suddenly they’re in a blood feud with the McDonald’s. I have Venus, Mercury, and Pluto in Scorpio in my chart (you can do yours for free here). My mom is a Scorpio and my dad is a Scorpio-Sag cusp, which is why I’m in therapy (I kid, I kid… mostly). I also have a cousin who’s a Scorpio, and growing up, I feel like she and my mom would have similar reactions to a lot of things, where they would be quiet in the moment with Mona Lisa smiles, then later offer some devastatingly accurate observation about what happened. To that end, I also find Scorpios to not be the best communicators, because they will bottle things up even when you can clearly tell they’re upset about something. But they are just protecting themselves, because they are actually very sensitive inside. Like the squishy guts of a scorpion itself.

Famous Scorpios include Ryan Gosling, Joaquin Phoenix, Frank Ocean, Winona Ryder, Lorde, Sylvia Plath, and RuPaul. I feel like they all have an air of mystery around them, no? A lot of them are very private people despite being celebrities. And how many times has a contestant on Drag Race said that they never knew what RuPaul was really thinking? That’s very Scorpio.

So, how best to celebrate Scorpio season? For god’s sake, do something spooky!! Watch a serial killer documentary! Hold a seance! Hold a grudge! Adopt a black cat! Do some kinky shit in bed! Wear black lipstick! Hell, wear black everything! Say less, side-eye more!

- Cooking. I haven’t gotten to cook much this week, but I am going to tackle a big, all-day cooking project on Saturday that I’m very excited about, which I’ll tell you all about in my next newsletter (cooking cliffhanger!!). The one dish I did make was this broccoli bolognese with orecchiette. As you may suspect, this is a bolognese in name only, and thankfully takes much, much less time to make – it’s a definite weeknight contender. I love broccoli, I love sausage, and I love simple, emulsified sauces made with pasta cooking water, so this was right up my alley. I really liked that I was able to make this with only two pots that I reused multiple times for different steps (as did my husband, I’m sure, since it was his turn to do the dishes). It turned out great! Super tasty and kind of earthy from the broccoli, with a little kick from the red pepper flakes.

This is a very forgiving recipe. It’s okay if you don’t get the timing just right and one part needs to sit for a few minutes while you finish another part. Did it drive me nuts that the recipe insisted on 12 oz. each of pasta and sausage, when both of those items usually come in 16 oz. packages? Of course! But instead of having a breakdown like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride (1991), I just said “fuck it” and added the whole pound of each, then added a little more broccoli and pasta water to the equation. I didn’t add anything else to it except salt and pepper, at step five, when I mixed in the pasta, but you could certainly throw in a splash of white wine or lemon juice for brightness, or try different kinds of sausage, or maybe even try it with cauliflower or romanesco, or ooh, maybe add some toasted pine nuts at the end?? The possibilities are truly endless! 

- I Didn’t Have the Eggs (r/ididnthavetheeggs on Reddit). Speaking of being flexible with recipes: this subreddit is dedicated to those infamous recipe comments from people who make bizarre substitutions or don’t follow directions and then complain about how the recipe turns out. It’s incredible. I saw a recent post from a woman who substituted shredded kale for carrots in CARROT CAKE because carrots “have too much sugar” (OMG, please get a grip). It did not turn out to her liking. I also loved the person who commented to complain that printing a recipe jammed their printer, as if that’s the recipe’s fault. The person who put cheddar cheese and lemon juice in their penne alla vodka really haunts me, though. Not because that’s gross (it is), but because they LOVED IT. There are some freaks out here in these streets, y’all.

- @pleasehatethesethings on Instagram. I love this account, but I think it might drive some of you to the brink. They post pictures of maddeningly bad design fails and flaws, like stairs placed five inches to the left of the door above them, or toilets wedged into spaces where no toilet should be. So much misalignment!! If that makes your eye twitch, I apologize, but I really enjoy their posts.

- Kylie Minogue, Tension. This pop album came out about a month ago and it’s become my go-to walking music. It’s great for exercise or doing chores or just getting up and moving your body. Personally, I liked Kylie’s last album, Disco, a little bit better. I’m just a sucker for a theme, and I think Disco was a little more cohesive. But there are a lot of great songs on this new record, like “Hold On To Now,” “Vegas High,” “10 Out Of 10,” and of course, “Padam Padam.” Check it out if you need something energetic to listen to.

- The Real Housewives of New York City, season 14 (Bravo, Peacock). I wanted to give my final thoughts on the new iteration of RHONY now that I’ve watched the whole season. Overall, I enjoyed it. I think the refresh was needed, and for the most part, they did a great job with casting. The drama was very low-stakes, but it’s essentially the first season of a new show. I can forgive that. One of the things I love about the Housewives is the rich and complicated history the cast members grow to have with each other as time goes on. You can’t force that, or make it happen overnight. I would happily watch a second season with this cast, with one exception, and I’ll explain that in a minute. Here are my thoughts on the cast:

• Jessel - My opinion of her changed so much over the course of this season! At first I thought she was a clueless snob, but I really grew to love her and find her very funny and charming by the end. I think I was taking her too seriously at first. Jessel is just harmlessly ditzy and weird (I still laugh at her calling Tribeca “up and coming”). She also happens to be a Scorpio, which makes her little list of grievances in her phone even more hilarious.

• Ubah - She’s unique because she doesn’t seem to pick the same side over and over again when people argue. She really thinks for herself on a case by case basis, which is refreshing. I also like how she stands up for single women. I agree with her that no one should ever ask someone, “Why are you still single?” Ick.

• Jenna - Yes, she’s soft-spoken, but I don’t find her to be dull at all. Her life isn’t non-stop glamor like I think some people expected, but she’s quirky and interesting. I don’t know if she’ll return, though, because she doesn’t seem to like conflict, and conflict-averse people really struggle on these shows.

• Brynn - I like her a lot, but I didn’t love her queerbaiting or over-the-top constant flirting with everyone. I think she has so much more to offer than being super sexual. Like, her interest in antique books is really cool. She’s also a total pot-stirrer and that’s so necessary on this show.

• Erin - I liked her a lot at first but woof, did that change in these last few episodes! She’s really become a villain, and I think that’s going to be hard for her to accept. They should keep her on the show for another season, for sure. They need her.

• Sai - I don’t hate Sai like a lot of the fans seem to, she’s just not “giving,” as the kids say. She’s a villain but doesn’t engage, she’s a fashion influencer but has served us zero looks. She’s the one person I would vote to cut from this cast. She’s just dead weight dragging them down at this point.

- I know I’m kind of all over the place in this newsletter but I have to tell you all about the concert I went to out in the desert last weekend. This year, I am only going to see artists I loved as a teenager around “the turn of the century,” and not to be totally corny, but it’s honestly been really fulfilling, and actually kind of healing for my inner child??

So last Sunday, I dragged my husband and our friend to Pappy + Harriet’s to see Everclear, with the Ataris and the Pink Spiders opening. Pappy + Harriet’s is an amazing barbecue restaurant near Joshua Tree that also hosts live music. Everyone from Paul McCartney to Peaches has played there. It’s in Pioneertown, which is this weird little old west town that Hollywood filmmakers built in the 1940s to use as a film set. It has major Frontierland vibes. The last time I was at Pappy + Harriet’s was pre-Covid, to see Waxahatchee at a cramped indoor show, and they’ve since moved most of their shows to an outdoor space, which I think is much, much better.

Apparently, this was the final show in a long tour. First up were the Pink Spiders, a pop-punk group from Nashville, and they were pretty fun. At the end of their set, they started playing “Boys of Summer” as a “tour prank” on the Ataris (I don’t know if you are old enough to remember this or were engaged in pop-punk at all in the early ‘00s, but the Ataris’ cover of “Boys of Summer” was probably their biggest single). They stopped just before the chorus, though. It made me curious what the dynamic was like between all the bands. I know from musician friends who have toured with bands before that there is almost always some kind of interpersonal drama involved. I find that shit fascinating.

Next up were the Ataris, and honestly? They were great! They sounded just like their records, maybe even better. I can’t say that I have listened to them much lately, but it was delightful to see some live pop-punk again. Brought me back to going to all-ages shows at shitty venues in Jersey back in the day. If you have any interest in seeing the Ataris live, I would say, go for it! It was a super fun set.

And then there was Everclear, the real draw for me. I think most people probably remember Everclear for their singles “Father of Mine” and “I Will Buy You a New Life” in the late ‘90s, but don’t think about them much these days. Not me! Their first two studio albums, Sparkle and Fade and So Much for the Afterglow are some of my favorite records of all time, and they’re still in heavy rotation for me. The dark, autobiographical lyrics about girlfriends overdosing on heroin and deadbeat dads and welfare Christmases set to this sunny-yet-grungy Californian pop-rock is just fucking catnip to me. Oh, the way teenage me would rock out to that shit in my two-parent upper middle class suburban home! Like, “yeah, this guy gets it!”

All that said… this was the first time I have gone to see a band that I loved as a teenager and thought, oof, they are… a little past their prime. Look, Art Alexakis is 61 years old, god bless him, he’s a slightly cringey older rocker dad now, and he can’t hit all the same notes that he used to. And something about the way they played just felt a little sloppy. I feel bad saying this because I have so much love for their music and I’m not trying to be ageist. Although, I don’t think it’s necessarily an age thing. Kathleen Hanna is 54, and when I saw her with Le Tigre earlier this year, she sounded exactly the same as she did when I saw her 10 years ago. And that woman YELLS.

Another thing about Everclear is that they played for SO long, I think almost two hours. Now, I knew every song, but even I reached a point where I was like, “they have got to start wrapping this shit up.” I mean, they even played their single off the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack! I thought they were going to start playing some of their hidden tracks! The guys I dragged to the show were pretty over it, but they stayed ‘til the bitter end with me to hear “Santa Monica,” which I appreciate. And then we walked back to the Airbnb and chilled in the hot tub and looked up at the stars (the stars out in the desert are AMAZING!) and I think they’ve since forgiven me for making them watch a two-hour set of a band they didn’t really know. But I’m pretty sure it will be a long time before they ever listen to Everclear again.

Aaaaand let’s leave it there. I’ll be back in two weeks with a new newsletter. I hope you have an amazing Halloween!

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Until next time—stay spooky.

Love,LizXOXO